Written By: Rhiannon Elizabeth Irons
G'day, dear readers. I'm Rhiannon Elizabeth Irons. Welcome to the Mediterranean. Grab a drink, soak up the sun, and keep an eye on the water.
Anyone who knows me knows I'll never turn down a good shark movie. Call it a side effect of growing up on a massive island continent or spending my younger years on a surfboard, facing down a few heart-stopping, flesh-and-blood encounters of my own, but I have a deep, primal respect for these apex predators. They belong on the screen just as much as they do in the deep blue.
If we were hanging out on a boat off the coast of Malta, cold drink in hand, hoping for a fin to break the horizon, I'd tell you that the true thrill of a creature feature is the raw, visceral craft of it all. But the only real threat the 2026 maritime thriller "CHUM" delivers isn't a shadow glinting beneath the swell. It's a lazy, overbearing reliance on artificial intelligence in place of real visual effects.
Instead of honoring visual effects as a skilled craft honed over years of practice and human artistry, director Jonathan Zuck opts for cheap generative shortcuts. In doing so, "CHUM" doesn't just cheapen its own production; it lands squarely in the middle of a heated debate over whether AI has any business replacing human labor and talent in modern filmmaking.
Keep your life vests tight and your expectations subterranean. Spoilers lie ahead, though saving you from watching this mess is the greatest kindness I can offer.
WATCH THE TRAILER FOR "CHUM" BELOW
A Script Dead on Arrival (and Likely Prompt Engineered)
The film sets its scene on the sparkling coast of Malta. A newlywed couple, Tina (Alice Eve) and Tom (Eric Michael Cole), join a group of insufferable friends for a post-wedding sailboat excursion. Naturally, disaster strikes when a great white attacks, leaving them stranded until they are "rescued" by Roy (Jim Klock), a grief-stricken, murderous fisherman who decides the group makes ideal live bait to lure the shark that ate his wife years earlier.
On paper, it sounds like standard B-movie schlock. On screen, the screenplay by Zuck and Joe Leone is completely hollow, carrying all the hallmarks of an unpolished LLM draft generated in 30 seconds flat. First off, who in their right mind brings their entire bridal party along on their honeymoon? Honeymoons are traditionally meant for the bride and groom to lock the door and engage in far more adult, under-the-covers activities, not to babysit an entourage of noisy friends on a cramped boat.
The rest of the dialogue is agonizingly wooden, loaded with generic structural beats, heavy-handed climate change commentary, and non-sequitur monologues that feel like a chatbot desperately trying to satisfy a word count prompt. Then come the relentless plot holes, which pile up faster than bodies in a slasher flick. We're subjected to a "captain" who allegedly knows the sea, yet tries to yank up a heavy yacht anchor by hand despite standing right next to an obvious mechanical windlass pulley. Add in a cut radio line on the yacht, a convenient, brain-dead trope that makes zero sense given modern marine communications, and a baffling, total lack of urgency from the entire group. Facing down a man-eater in open water, they deliver lines with all the panicked intensity of Gene Wilder's sarcastic Willy Wonka droning, "Stop. Don't. Come back." The narrative logic vanishes quicker than a victim in a feeding frenzy, offering zero character development, nonexistent stakes, and a total failure to construct even a single drop of genuine human suspense.
"Cabbage-Adjacent" Performances
A weak script can sometimes be saved by charismatic performances, but "CHUM" offers no such lifeline. Alice Eve, who is capable of far better, wanders through scenes looking less like a terrified survivor and more like an actor calculating how quickly she can fire her agent.
The supporting ensemble fares even worse. Line readings are delivered with the stilted, monotonous cadence of a cast reading off teleprompters for the very first time. Every emotional beat, from panic to grief, lands flat. The cast's complete lack of chemistry leaves you actively rooting for the predator just to clear the deck of these agonizingly shallow caricatures.
The Soulless Visuals of AI "Slop"
Perhaps the most egregious failure of "CHUM" lies in its visual presentation. In an era where practical effects and skilled digital artistry have given us iconic screen monsters, this film takes the ultimate shortcut by relying extensively on jarring, obvious AI-generated visual effects.
From the uncanny, shifting texture of the digital shark to the blatantly synthetic, blood-tinted ocean water and fire effects, the visuals feel cheap, lazy, and fundamentally soulless. Rather than immersing the viewer in a terrifying fight for survival, every frame plagued by obvious generative shortcuts pulls you right out of the experience. It's a tragic reminder of what happens when corporate cost-cutting completely replaces artistic craftsmanship.
Conclusion: A Total Sinkhole
"CHUM" is a deeply frustrating, ineptly assembled disaster that lacks both the skill to be a good thriller and the self-aware charm to be an ironically fun B-movie. Riddled with an unpolished, machine-like script, lifeless acting, and an insulting reliance on AI imagery, it is an absolute chore to sit through. Do yourself a favor and steer clear.
Verdict: A thoroughly disappointing, poorly crafted disaster best avoided by genre enthusiasts, film lovers, and anyone who respects the art of visual effects.
"CHUM" is available on UK digital platforms beginning Aug. 17.
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