Written By: Nick Bankhead
Yeah. The holidays are over. Still, it’s a good time to talk crappy holiday horror movies. I blame "Black Christmas."
Scratch that. I blame Silent Night, Deadly Night 4.
Side note: what the “supernatural cult vibes and cockroaches” hell? What’s the story here? What am I getting at?
Seems like anyone nowadays can make a film. Grab an iPhone, offer up some shitty weed and or shitty booze to your “actor” homies, and BOOM! You’re on Tubi.
So, back to "SNDN 4". The Christmas horror film genre is through the roof. They are becoming more popular than ever, and I can only guess it’s because everyone is sick of the same repurposed Hallmark Xmas flick:
Girl: "I am an Advertising Executive."
Boss: "You need to visit our client in Christmas Cookieville."
Girl: "That’s where I’m from."
Girl travels, realizes her high school crush owns the bakery that only hires special needs kids. They fall in love. Girl gives up her rad job in the city because the client wanted to bankrupt the bakery and sell the kids to the President of Guam.
The end. Channel change and you're back to your home shopping network and knitting a scarf for that ungrateful grandchild ya have back east.
I know. I’m all over the place. I’m trying to kick Adderall. (TrulyDisturbing does not endorse the use of Adderall while writing.)
I watch a lot of horror movies. I love horror so much, I have a podcast dedicated to the genre.
You can find out more via the SlashU Podcast.
We do this thing every holiday season, entitled Slash Yule, where we cover holiday horror movies. We’ve seen some gems, but recently we watched the worst of the worst.
Enter: "The Fright Before Christmas."(2020)*
Dude. Just. Don’t.
Wait. Scratch that. Do watch it. I want to get opinions here. We covered it on the pod. It was our shortest episode, and we were able to dive into more important topics, like sandwiches and the primary use of traffic cones.
Here’s a one-sentence summary of the shit movie: Some weird ass dude interrupts a party, tells lame stories, and that’s about it.
Google it. Watch it. Put your left foot in and shake it all about.
That typed, I’m Nick, and I’m stoked to meet you. I hope you’ll continue to visit me and my other Truly Disturbing cohorts as we try to do our best in becoming esteemed horror influencers.
Later.
IMDb says 5.8 out of 10, which is a fucking lie. The writer must’ve bribed his mom and her Boggle club to spam it with five star reviews.
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