This week we met an awesome new character, were reintroduced to an old one and saw yet another’s true character…
We begin with a man at a typewriter. The year is 1919. The place is New Orleans. In a voice over we hear the man reading a manifesto. His name is the Axeman and he was a real life serial killer in New Orleans. The letter he is reciting was a real letter sent to a local newspaper. We learn that he is a jazz musician who plays the axe, better known as the saxophone. He has a secret compartment in his sax case where he keeps his other axe. In his manifesto he warns residents that he will be attacking again and if he hears jazz music emitting from peoples’ homes they will be safe. The scene cuts to a large group of young witches at the school. They take over reading his letter. The girl who seems to take charge looks kind of like a young Anna Leigh, who Fiona killed in the seventies. The Axeman strolls down the sidewalk with a beaming smile as he hears his precious jazz music blasting from every house…except for one. The witches are defiantly playing opera. Oh the nerve! He makes his way up the grand staircase and enters the room producing the opera music. The leader of the pack is sitting on the floor doing a tarot reading. The Axeman turns off the infernal opera and raises his axe. The girl pulls the death card and as the Axeman is about to strike she tells him that the reading was for him. She teleports and stabs him in the chest and several other girls come out of the shadows in hooded black robes and go stab crazy on him.
Back in the present Zoe is going through a box of Madison’s things when she drops something…it rolls of it’s own accord to a her closet that happens to have a secret room. She finds old photos of the class of 1919 and more importantly, a Ouija board. Zoe tells Nan and Queenie that they need to watch each other’s backs but after Fiona’s pep talk to Queenie last episode she thinks she is above the need for help from them. She is also reluctant to use the Ouija board. Zoe pours them all a shot of Absinthe and then uses one of the empty glasses as a planchette. They soon realize that they are speaking to the Axeman and Queenie gets spooked and stops their session. Meanwhile Fiona is in the hospital getting chemotherapy and discovers a new power. She can read the other patients’ minds. She freaks and rips the needle out and the doctor comes in to calm her down. She tells him she is only doing chemo for her daughter and that she wants to have one more great love affair. Zoe has the gals in her room and is doing research on the Axeman on the internet. She tells them that she wants to talk to him again to ask about Madison, the other girls aren’t keen on the idea so she goes it alone. She promises the Axeman that she will release him if he tells her where Madison is. The spirit board spells out ‘attic’. She heads up there to Spalding’s room and finds Madison’s decaying body in the trunk. Spalding then comes out and grabs her. Uh oh Spaghettios.
Elsewhere in the house Cordelia navigates her way to her room with her cane. Her husband Hank close behind her. He tells Fiona that she made it up the stairs all by her self, which seems a bit condescending to me. Fiona says of course she did because she is so strong. Hank touches Cordelia’s arm again and she sees him sexing up the red head again. She asks who she is and he of course plays dumb. Cordelia warns him that whatever else he is up to she will eventually see it. Fiona looks downright giddy that now Cordelia can finally see through his bullshit. Cordelia tells him to get the hell out and then Fiona touches her arm. Umm…she knows that Cordelia can see that way so why the hell did she do that?! Cordelia sees Myrtle burning at the stake and asks her mother how she could do that.
Back in the creeptacular attic the three gals have Spalding tied up. The ladies have turned on a hot plate and are using a metal spatula to torture answers out of the tongue less wonder. Nan tells them what he is thinking, the first thing being that he is not afraid of little girls. Queenie scoffs at this and takes the red hot spatula to taunt him then applies it to her own cheek and laughs as his face burns. When asked if he killed Madison he replies, in his own special way with the help of Nan, in the positive. He also tells them that he knows that they won’t turn him in to the cops. Spalding has passed out from the pain and Queenie says they’ll kill him when he comes to. Zoe says they will do no such thing because she doesn’t believe he is the murderer. Clever girl Zoe.
Misty is in her garden watering a large dirt mound. A hand comes out of the soil and Misty tells Myrtle that she’s not ready to come out yet. Kyle comes up behind her and she decides to give him a bath. After she’s done scrubbing him down she starts to hand him a towel and he flashes back to the memory of his perverted mother and freaks the hell out. The Fleetwood Mac that is playing on the eight-track player is cut off when Kyle smashes the antiquated stereo to bits. Zoe walks in the door and poor Kyle runs to her in tears. Zoe tells Misty that she needs her help and they make their way to the school. Zoe chains up Kyle and introduces Misty to the cadaver of Madison. Misty lays her hands on Madison and tells Zoe to press on her stomach because she has too much death in her. Madison starts coughing up blood and what looks like a cockroach. Madison screams and sits up. Now what do you think a resurrected person would request first? She says she needs a cigarette. A gal after my own heart.
Marie is locking up her salon when Hank walks up and tells her they have a problem. I knew Hank was an ass but I had no idea he was working with her! He says that throwing acid on Cordelia’s face made his job harder. Marie smartly asks him if she looks like a member of the Taliban and says she wouldn’t even have to leave her room to blind Cordelia. She says she thought she hired a professional witch hunter and he reminds her that he has killed nine Salem descendants in just three years. We see a flashback of Cordelia interviewing the red head, Kaylee, that he murdered. It turns out that Kaylee had the power of pyrokenisis but when asked to join the school she says all she really wants is a husband and children…which the traitor Hank hears outside Cordelia’s office. Marie tells him that she’s not playing around anymore and she wants the head of every witch left in the school, including Cordelia’s.
Cordelia locks herself in her room and valiantly tries to take some medicine, which she spills most of on the floor. As the shot widens we see the Axeman stand up and say, “I’ve always hated this room”. The remaining students start questioning Madison and ask her what she remembers. She remembers something red…we know that is Fiona’s dress. Nan asks her if she saw a white light when she died and she says it was just black forever. Back in the locked bedroom it seems that Cordelia can ‘see’ the Axeman without touching him. He tells her that no one is leaving the room and he wants the lying bitch that he helped to do as she promised. He then begins chasing Cordelia around the room and the girls hear her terrified screams. The girls, led by Zoe and minus Madison, head downstairs to a cabinet with many tomes in it. Queenie has her doubts that they will find a spell in time to save Cordelia. Zoe runs her fingers over the books and seems to know when to stop. She pulls the book and lays it on the table. Then the book magically flips open to the correct spell. Remind anyone of CHARMED? The girls hold hands and recite the spell to release the Axeman. He walks out the front gate and whistles a happy tune as he walks down the same road he did almost a hundred years ago.
We leave our cast with Fiona at a bar. She strokes her hair, looks at her hand and sees she is starting to lose her locks. She frantically looks around to see if anyone has noticed. Suddenly the Axeman sits next to her and asks the ‘pretty lady’ what she’s drinking. Well that’s all folks. I think I’m in love with the Axeman, played by the sexy Danny Huston. In the promo for next week it looks like Cordelia finds out what her mommy dearest did to Madison and she doesn’t look happy about it. I wonder what she’ll do about it…Thanks for reading friendos!
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