TV Recap – TRUE BLOOD “Dead Meat”

Well Trubies we’re almost at that dreaded time…the end.  Damn.  Read on to see what the gang was up to this week!

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Erik, still grieving over Nora’s demise, begins to mock Bill and his ability to see the future.  Bill says that the two of them still have a job to do and that it was Sookie’s fault that Warlow was not there.  Erik sarcastically says that he just didn’t want to pick a fight with his old flame.  Bill finally gets pissed enough to pick Eric up with his mind and I became aware of the damn bedposts with a small spike at the top.  You see I’m still paranoid that we’re going to lose another character.  Anyhoo…Eric is still in a crazed frame of mind and screams out “Look mother I can fly!”.  I love insane Eric.  Bill gets in some low blows of his own and asks Eric if he wants to die and brings up Godric then he throws him on the floor and tells him to get out.  Eric’s response, “I’m already gone”.  In more ways than one my Viking friend.  The tiresome, to me anyway, wolf pack has Nicole and her mom.  Alcide commands them to let them go.  Rikki informs Alcide that he is no longer pack master because of his lies and challenges him.  She knows she’s about to get her ass kicked but says Al doesn’t have the balls to finish her off.  Rikki is right, Alcide kicks her ass and then quietly leaves with the hostages.

Don't ever scare me like that again Eric!  It is not wise to piss off a demi god!

Don’t ever scare me like that again Eric! It is not wise to piss off a demi god!

The new vamp on camp, Violet, is conversing with Jason telling him that he is hers…forever.  She also reveals that she is a medieval Catholic so when she says he is hers she damn well means it!  Meanwhile Sookie reties Warlow in fairy land and lets him feed.  She asks if he will do a favor for Bill, and more importantly, her vampire friends.  He tells her that if he does this she must be turned and be his for eternity.  Sookie says she needs some time to think about it.  She leaves him and Eric, hidden behind a tree, walks to where she appeared and begins waving his arm about.  As he does this we see the interesting effect it has in fairy land…the always sunny place gets dark.  At vamp camp Jessica and her new boy toy James are cuddling when they are found and sent back to general population.  She warns him again not to drink the Tru Blood.  At that very moment Pam and the therapist exit his office and are adjusting their clothes.  Jess asks if Pam had sex with the doc and how it was.  Pam replies, “It was oozy but productive”.  I love you Pam!   In male general population the tainted Tru Blood is being distributed.  Steve Newlin takes his and goes to sit by James.  He tells James that he hasn’t felt this awkward since eighth grade when he was the recipient of several wedgies a day.  James shares his secret and tells the pathetic, yet hilarious Steve, not to drink,

At Merlotte’s Sam is gathering Terry’s belongings.  When he finishes he walks outside and finds Alcide.  He tells Sam that his asshole pack master days are behind him.  It’s about damn time Alcide…I was beginning to loathe you!  He also says that Nicole and her mom are safe in Sam’s trailer.  A grateful Sam says he is welcome to have a drink with him.  Taking the gentleman’s route Sam gives mom his bed and Nicole his couch.  He will be sleeping in his office.  He beckons Nicole outside and gives her a goodnight hug…and sniffs at her hair.  He finds Alcide at the bar and saddles up next to him.  Al says he found the ladies by catching Nicole’s scent and he asks if it is Sam’s.  Then he asks if it is his and Sam says he thinks so and that he’s going to drink on it.  Hmm…

Violet is in her cubby feeding on Jason.  The poor dolt asks if she is going to rape him.  She is genuinely offended and says that when they inevitably have sex he will be begging for it.  Lafayette fixes Arlene a tasty breakfast and joins her, Holly, Andy and Adilyn at the table.  Andy goes to get a cup of joe and when Adi asks for some he tells her no because she’s only two weeks old.  Love you too Andy!  Lala tells Arlene about Terry’s two million dollar life insurance policy that was taken out four days ago.  Adilyn reads her mind and hears her partially blame her and her sisters for digging into her brain.  When Arlene yells for her to stay out Adi leaves in tears.  Sookie is at Bill’s and asks about the deal with Warlow.  Bill tells her that Warlow will feed everyone in the white room, now to be known as the sun room, and feed them all.  He says Warlow will not be killed because Dr. Takahashi has not yet synthesized his blood.  Sookie tells him about Warlow’s terms and Bill couldn’t care less.  That’s a refreshing change.  Sookie says she needs more time to think, calls Bill a mother fucking monster and storms off.

"Please don't rape me Violet...unless you really have to."

“Please don’t rape me Violet…unless you really have to.”

Sarah Newlin returns to vamp camp and is informed that a few of the vamps are refusing their Tru Blood.  After finding out that Steve is in on it she puts him in the hamster wheel room where Steve is running at a slower pace than a human would be.  She proceeds to threaten him with the UV light and he quickly caves and rats out James for warning him.  As Sarah triumphantly leaves she tells Steve that there are no UV lights in that room.  Oops.  Steve and James are whisked away to the sun room and Sarah tells the higher-ups that any other vamps that refuse to drink will be brought there as well.  At Merlotte’s Nicole’s mom has arranged for them to leave but Sam asks Nic not to go.  Her mom gets pissed and calls Sam a silver fox.  Hee hee!  Sookie interrupts and Sam leaves the bickering mother and daughter to take Sookie to his office.  She shows him her super nova fairy ball and tells him what it means if she uses it.  Then, and I was rolling my eyes profusely, she tells him that she always thought she would end up with him.  Bitch please!  Sam, rightfully so, gets pretty pissed off and says that Nicole is pregnant but doesn’t know it yet.  Sookie tucks her wings behind her back and leaves.  Good for you Sam!

"I sure hope I don't get red on me today..."

“I sure hope I don’t get red on me today…”

Arlene, Holly, Andy and his and Terry’s grandmother and sister are at the funeral home.  Grandma wants a twenty-one gun salute and Arlene loses it.  She says that Terry only enlisted because his family refused to pay for his college if he didn’t.  Andy tries to make peace as Arlene says that the man they are burying is a lie.  Outside Holly and Andy try to comfort her and she tells Andy that she knows the name of the man who shot Terry.  He tells her that the only one that would benefit from an investigation would be the insurance company.  Sookie visits her parents graves and tells them off.  She says that she would rather walk the earth as a corpse then spend eternity lying next to them.

A royally pissed off Ms. Suzuki, a figure head from Tru Blood, makes her way to vamp camp and demands to speak to the governor immediately.  Sarah tries to intercept her but she knees her in the crotch.  Cat fight!  She sees the Tru Blood being contaminated and whips out her cell to call the FDA.  Sarah runs up behind her and tries, in vain, to snap her neck.  Ms. Suzuki then proceeds to run…right into the area above the male general population with Sarah right behind her.  Suzuki twists her ankle in her six inch heels and falls down.  Sarah grabs her by the hair and repeatedly mashes her face into the grating.  The thirsty vamps below lick her blood off the floor.  Sarah rips Suzuki’s high heel off violently enough to snap it and drives the stiletto into her head.  In her now blood-stained white suit she cries, “Thank you Jesus!”.  She has definitely lost her shit.

Sookie, who seems to think she has all the time in the world, gives Jason a call.  It goes straight to voice mail so she tells him about Terry and finally asks where Niall is.  She then rings Bill and tells him to pick her up in an hour.  She goes to her room and prepares for the funeral, her own.  She puts on a black lace dress and solemnly applies her lipstick.  Adilyn, and Holly’s sons are drunk in the cemetery.  Kids these days…let’s get drunk and go frolic in the cemetery…it’s not like there’s any vampires!  The mad Eric rushes up to glamour the brothers and Adi runs for it.  Eric tells the boys that they never saw him and that one of them definitely didn’t see Adi without her shirt on.  What a gentleman!  He easily catches Adilyn and bites her and later we see that she is very much alive running down a road where her daddy Andy picks her up.

Back at vamp camp Violet tells the powers that be she is being satiated by Jason and they inform her that everyone must drink their ration of Tru Blood.  As she walks up to the line Tara, and her big mouth, mumbles that she should drink it so Jason can be free.  Violet deduces that there is something wrong with her ration and she, Jessica, Pam, Tara and Willa are escorted to the sun room.  Sookie transports Bill to fairy land and they find the still bound Warlow has had his throat slit.  A shocked Sookie asks who could do that and Bill has a one word reply, “Eric.”

"What's worse, a deadly STD or a fatal sun tan?"

“What’s worse, a deadly STD or a fatal sun tan?”

Sorry for the long read Trubies!  Things are really heating up now.  I must say I was glad to see a couple of Sookie’s suitors tell her off.  It’s about damn time.  Do you think she’ll be turned?  Thanks for reading and we’ll catch up again next week!

 

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