There are people we meet sometimes that have a bad attitude and just rub us the wrong way from the start. They may be cocky, arrogant, or just plain mean. They escalate problems instead of help them and bring other people into danger when they have nothing to do with said problem. These people are affectionately known a “Douchebags” and HORROR has a slew of them. Read on for our list.
We’re going to count down from 10 to 1 on this list. Remember, this is our list and our view points but that doesn’t mean that you can’t chime in and leave a comment with who YOU think should be on our list.
Here we go fiends, the top 10 BIGGEST Horror Douchebags.
10. Roach (DEMON NIGHT, 1995)
Roach(Thomas Haden Church) is the perfect example of a horror douchebag. All of his friends could have died because of his actions and he showed no remorse for putting other in danger. The thing that makes him land on our list is that Roach KNEW the consequences for his actions and didn’t care. Add to this that he smacked around his girlfriend in the film and uses her as a shield against a demon.
He gets what he deserves in the end though.
9. J.P. Monroe (HELLRAISER III: HELL ON EARTH , 1992)
This guy was a jerk. Through and through. He was the owner of the Boiler Room in Hellraiser III. Played by Kevin Bernhardt, J.P. Monroe would use women, then eject them from his club. He might have just been a jerk before but once Pinhead shows up in a newly acquired art piece (The Pillar of Souls) things get really douchebag for Monroe. Pinhead asks him to supply him with victims. All he had to do was say NO and Pinhead would have been screwed. Did that happen? Nope! He even tried to feed his girlfriend to Pinhead and fails. Even after becoming a Cenobite by Pinhead, this dude is still a douchebag in our book.
8. Mrs. Carmondy (THE MIST, 2007)
Douchebaggery does not just settle with males in Horror and Marcia Gay Harden was a major douche in The Mist. She was a religious fanatic who just added more danger to the situation that those poor folks in that grocery store had to deal with. Several unnecessary deaths result in her raving and at one point she even wants to sacrifice a child to appease her “god”. This my friend, is how a female douchebag gets things done! You hated her from the moment she spoke and her addition to the stress level of the film was just epic.
This broad gets dealt with proper and meets her maker in the end.
7. Captain Rhodes (DAY OF THE DEAD, 1985)
Dawn of The Dead saw the entire U.S. overthrown by zombies. In a seemingly safe bunker underground a military operation is hold up trying to find a cure for the zombie plague. It is within this Florida-based refuge that soldier Rhodes (Joseph Pilato) gets the rank of Captain and slowly graduates from jerk to douchebag before the films end. He forces our unarmed heroes into a zombie filled cavern, turns his back on his fellow soldiers and leaves everyone for dead. When Rhodes gets his gory come-uppens, we can’t help but cheer. His demise is accentuated by Bub’s iconic farewell salute. Choke on it indeed!
6. Steve (DAWN OF THE DEAD, 2007)
This guy was so arrogant when we met him in the remake of the George Romero classic, Dawn of The Dead. Played very well by Ty Burell before he was in Modern Family. Steve was that guy who had money and felt like he was entitled to everything. He endangered the entire group of survivors because he was just plain lazy. Admittedly, he did make us laugh a few times with his sarcastic bite. The last straw was his totally lack of compassion for those who were bitten or hurt.
He joined the ranks of the walking dead at the end of the film, which only made seeing him take a bullet between the eyes even that much more enjoyable to watch.
5. Walter Peck (GHOSTBUSTERS, 1984)
The Ghostbusters arrive in New York just in time to help with some pesky poltergeists and what do they have to deal with that’s even meaner? Walter Peck (William Atherton). Environment Protection Agency Inspector with an attitude. He was very professional when first introduced to us but slowly, that inner douche showed its ugly head. He stomps and moans when Peter doesn’t grant him access to the Ghostbusters containment unit and comes back with a court order.
All hell breaks loose after he shuts down the busters containment grid and the whole city of New York is thrown into a possible apocalyptic destruction. Thanks a lot “dickless”. Last we see of Peck he’s covered head to toe in marshmallow fluff and crying like a baby.
4. Lewis Teague (POLTERGEIST, 1982)
300- acres of dead people can sure get pissed off. And boy howdy do they when a new housing development starts contruction over their graves. Mr. Teague (James Karen) can’t seem to understand how his actions are so wrong. Typical. Sure the idea of relocating hundreds of graves to make room for a neighborhood seems immoral enough but what if you didn’t even bother to do that in the first place?
The neighborhood of Cuesta Verde was doomed from the start but to our friend Mr. Teague…it was just business.
3. Harry Cooper (NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, 1968)
From the moment Cooper (Karl Hardman) sticks his head out of that basement doorway in NOTLD, we know shit just got worse. He may be one of the earliest examples of a douchebag in horror. Sure he’s brave, after all the real danger has dissipated enough for him to act like a big man for his family.
He doesn’t stop there, he locks our hero Ben out of the house and then pulling a gun on him. We all cheer when we see Cooper bite the bullet…twice.
2. Mayor Larry Vaughn (Jaws, 1975)
The small seaside town of Amity Island was never the same after a huge shark made its home in its water. If that wasn’t bad enough, Mayor of Amity Island, Larry Vaughn (Murray Hamilton) knows the 25 foot shark is lurking in the island’s surrounding waters and allows the beaches to be left open. Four people get made into shark bait under his watch. But wait, he’s only doing this because he is up for re-election and well, let’s be honest, money makes politicians and if the beaches are closed, the mayor gets no money.
Those poor people of Amity had a shark and a greedy mayor to deal with. Sharks can live on land too ya know.
1. Carter Burke (ALIENS, 1986)
Burk (Paul Reiser) is a “company” (Weyland Yutani) man. He seems OK at the beginning of Aliens, but don’t let that crooked smile fool you. Burke has a deceptive agenda in mind when he asks the lone survivor of the Nostromo, Ellen Ripley, to accompany a group of marines to the tera-formed planet of LV-426 on what is believed to be a rescue mission. Soon, the terror and stress builds to a boiling point and we finally see just how despicable Burke is. He tries to have Ripley and Newt impregnated by a facehugger with a xenomorph embryo to take back through ICC Quarantine. He even goes so far as to turn off the security cameras so the other marines have no clue Ripley or Newt need help. Later Burke leaves our heroes to their doom and tries to escape the Alien onslaught.
Sure he get his in the end but man we really wanted to see Hudson grease that “Rat Fuck Son-Of-A- Bitch” with a well placed pulse rifle round.
We know that horror has many a douche and horror films wouldn’t be the same without them. they make us so mad when they are on the screen and are truly those characters you “love to hate”. We hope some of your favorite douchebags made our list.
Nancy Downs (THE CRAFT,1996)
Lt. Donald And Mrs. Thompson (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, 1984)
Carl Denham (KING KONG, 1933)
Agent Milton Dammers (THE FRIGHTENERS, 1996)
Dillon (PREDATOR, 1987)
Constance Langdon ( AMERICAN HORROR STORY, 2011)
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