Smell drop dead with new ZOMBIE For Him and Her Fragrances

Yes fiends’ you too can smell like a rotting corpse with Zombie for Him and Her fragrances. Read on about this crazy idea and product.

Image a world where the only thing that mattered was surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. Now in order to survive, ya have to smell good right? (WRONG!)

That’s the backdrop for the new undead-inspired fragrances from Demeter. Zombie For Him and Her are designed to help the living fly under the radar of their reanimated enemies (and friends, let’s be honest, you will have some annoying zombie pals). Fans of “Walking Dead” will no doubt recognize this tried-and-true strategy to avoid getting your brain eaten.

The press release assures us that each fragrance is “instantly wearable”. We find that hard to believe but here is how they described it.

“Think forest floor. Zombie for Him is a combination of dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew, moss and earth.”Sounds delightful!

Zombie for Her smells like grass, but not fresh smelling grass. It’s more like the lawn clippings that have been sitting in trash bags for weeks because nobody wants to lug those things to the curb to be picked up. Demeter says there’s also “dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel for a feminine touch.”

What makes us most wary of the zombie fragrances is they may not actually fulfill their primary goal of saving people from death by getting eaten.

Look at the promo image for crying out loud! Sure looks like someone’s gonna be zombie bait in a minute. Will you be the first to wear these new fragrances? If so…STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM US!

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