TV Review – Syfy’s STRANDED

Hello friendos!  If you watched this show last night you may be reminded of an MTV show from thirteen years ago called FEAR.  Well it’s like that only these poor bastards have to spend five days investigating instead of one night!  Read on to see how I liked it…

If Syfy’s GHOST HUNTERS and MTV’s FEAR had a one night stand this would be their bastard child.  The premise goes as follows.  A family goes to a haunted site and documents their findings with the help of a ghost hunting kit over five days.  There is no camera crew, only their own cameras and stationary surveillance cams.  In this case the family consists of a woman (half believer), her husband (full believer) and her brother (non believer).  Their task is to investigate the West Virginia State Penitentiary, that I’m quite sure has been investigated by many TV ghostie hunting shows.  The prison is said to be one of the most haunted places in America.

Their first fascinating investigation consists of the “team” going to the cafeteria for a snack…and then off to find their rooms, I mean cell, which has three cots and a plush one inch mattress to sleep on.  I wonder what their sleep number is?  After a restless slumber and an ice cold shower the team heads to the basement to check out The Hole where prison snitch R.D. Wahl was stabbed and decapitated  by the other prisoners.  Supposedly the ghost of Wahl attacks anyone who goes down there.  The non-believer taunts the ghost and gets hit on the foot.  He also believes he hears a whisper.  They check the EVP, I heard a mumbling noise, but the team was sure they heard “Behind you”.  Oooh spooky!

EVP-"Garblegarblegarble" Team-"It said 'Behind you!'"

Team-“It said ‘Behind you!'”

When they go to the second floor, the hospital ward, hubby and wifey leave the non-believer in a cell and wait down the hall as he conducts another EVP session.  After a couple minutes he radios for them to come back and hubby says the funniest thing on this show…”We just sat down!”.  After what seemed like a few seconds non-believer picks up the radio again and nervously asks, “Are you coming?!”.  Hubby is still pissed because he had just sat down and says something to the effect of “You’ve got legs, walk your ass out of the room!”.  Mr. Non-believer is finally changing his tune.

I have a feeling that this show will be quite formulaic, someone who believes and someone who doesn’t.  One of their last investigations is to a place in the basement called the Sugar Shack where fights and brutal rapes occurred that the guards knew about and did nothing to stop.  What a fitting name for the place, eh?  While in the large room wifey says her face feels hot, and with the help of the thermal camera the boys claim they can see a handprint on her face.  This so-called handprint looked like a blotch to me.  But I guess I’ll take their word for it…for now.

At the end of the episode I was left with this thought.  Leave the basic cable ghost hunting to the basic cable ghost hunting professionals!  Every time this trio were a little scared and heard a noise they Scoobied their asses out of their right quick.  I’d rather watch the cartoon.  I also find it hard to believe that it is “pitch black” the entire time.  Isn’t that a major liability issue?  What if one of them, in the midst of a freak-out, ran head first into prison bars?  If there isn’t a production team on-site I’ll go to the Sugar Shack myself.  This show is minimally entertaining, if only for seeing supposedly normal people freak out at the drop of a hat.  Then again we have Syfy’s superior shows TOTAL BLACKOUT and SCARE TACTICS for that don’t we friendos?  Check it out if you want to reminisce about the old MTV show that was mentioned earlier…otherwise just keep watching the professionals.  Let me know what you think of this show pretty please and thanks for reading!

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