Syfy TV Movie ‘o’ the Week – AMERICAN HORROR HOUSE

Clever title eh?  Read on to see what I thought of this TV flick with the somewhat misleading title.

Our tale begins with a flashback scene of a creepy little girl singing Itsy Bitsy Spider as her parents lay in bed with their throats slit.  The girl, Rosemary, is covered in their blood and using her knife as a conductors wand.  Then we head to present day where a co-ed is running across a college campus to get back to her sorority house.  Turns out she’s late for a violin lesson and the music teacher looks ever so pissed!  As she runs through a piece of music her fake playing made me laugh.  I could have done a much better job having pretended to play fiddle to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.

“I’m not really a violinist, but I play one in this Syfy movie.”

The music teacher isn’t feeling it so she brings out another sheet of music, which just happens to be Itsy Bitsy Spider.  What a coincidence!  As the girl plays a ghost with a slit throat emerges behind her and snaps one of the violin strings which cuts her cheek.  The teach makes her go to the music room, where other string instruments are kept, to fix her fiddle.  As she tightens the string, the strings of other instruments start snapping all around her.  Then the music teacher shows up and the strings are wrapped around the poor lass.  The teach uses her own violin and begins tightening the strings and the girl is slowly cut into many pieces.  The FX weren’t too bad, for a Syfy movie.

One month later and it’s pledge week for the sorority.  The Kappas steal four girls to pledge.  Their first task is to steal the “spirit” from a nearby fraternity.  The spirit being the original old ratty mascot that was first in commission in the early 1900s.  The catch?  The girls have to go in only their undies.  While three of the gals distract horny frat boys at the front door, our heroine Daria, played by Alessandra Torresani, sneaks around back to get the goods.  One of the guys at the door looks the scantily clad girls and says, “If you girls are Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’m ready to be saved!”  Hee hee!

Daria is victorious, after running into a pledge from the fraternity who she promises to meet at the party later, and the girls return to the house to prepare.  When they get back the whole sorority is questioned about the missing violinist by a P.I.  He also meets the house mother Ms. Margot, played pretty well by Morgan Fairchild.  We get a couple of nice kills as the party gets underway.

“How dare you question Morgan Fairchild?! Don’t you know who I am?”

One of the four pledges freaks out and decides to leave, she is accosted by a ghost girl and pushed down the stairs where she breaks her neck.  The next pledge gets it when the remaining gals have to crawl out of a locked room.  The first girl through is pulled out by ghosties and thrown out a second floor window. She lands in a dumpster and a person in the ratty bear costume gouges her eye out with a wine bottle.  That was a nice gory bit there!

“This merlot’s for you!”

The final two pledges run into the P.I. and he says he saw a girl thrown out of a window.  They don’t trust him and think he is part of their initiation rituals.  Their next task is to steal something from Ms. Margot’s room, which is filled with creepy dolls.  After Daria picks the lock she pockets a scarf and finds a scrapbook with murders that have occurred in the house for the last fifty years.  We find out that Ms. Margot is actually the little girl that slashed her parents and she has been killing people to be in her “sorority” for eternity!  (Insert evil laugh here).

The rest of the party goers are killed off by some spiked punch courtesy of Ms. Margot.  The P.I. is killed by the violinist ghost and the only two living people standing are Daria and her frat friend.  They manage to escape and determine that the only way to save everyone is to lure Ms. Margot off the property.  Frat boy is brought down by several ghosties.  We see Daria charging towards Margot with all her might…and the screen goes black.  Then we get a “Three years later” sign.  We see two strapping young gents heading into the house.  We also see a lineup of ghosties on the stairs.  Guess who’s at the top?  That’s right boils and ghouls!  Daria has become one of the ghosts trapped in the house.  No twist ending here friendos.

Now we all know that Syfy movies aren’t really the cream of the crop but I must say that this movie actually did entertain me.  There were lots of movie/TV references and some pretty damn good one liners.  The SFX were quite good too.  Most TV movies I watch make my eyes roll back to their whites, but this one got that tongue-in-cheek quality that is lacking in their other movies.  Let me know what you thought of this friendos!  I welcome your comments.

Like what you see? Be sure to also visit Pissed Off Geek too for more news and reviews with a horrific edge. To stay up to date with the latest horror news and reviews from the site be sure to "like" Truly Disturbings's Facebook page and following us on Twitter!

  1 comment for “Syfy TV Movie ‘o’ the Week – AMERICAN HORROR HOUSE

  1. April 26, 2016 at 12:03 AM

    I love American horror house

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *