If you haven’t watched this episode yet, first of all, shame on you, second of all…SPOILER ALERT!!! Now let’s get the blood flowing on this one!
MY FIRST THOUGHT:
Yes it’s finally happening! Alcide and Sookie hookup! Now I’ve always been Team Eric, but come on, that wolf man’s body is AH-Mazing! As you may recall Alcide and Sookie were headed for the bedroom, Alcide’s shirt and belt are off…and then Sookie throws up Schnapps all over his boots! Then Eric and Bill chime in. Alcide was wolf blocked! Party foul!
Now this show has a lot of characters to keep up with, so bear with me. Sookie, Alcide, Bill and Eric adjourn to the kitchen. Bill and Eric need help finding Russell for the Vampire Authority. They need Alcide to get one of his workers, Doug, who may have helped to uncover Russell from his cement nap. They need Sookie to try to un-glamour Doug and lead them to Russell. Then Bill and Eric stupidly say that that will be the end of bothering her, which she does not buy. This is when Sook delivers the…
FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW:
“A three thousand year old vampire wants to suck my blood, must be Thursday!”
To make a long story short, (too late) Sookie successfully un-glamours the large but not in charge Doug. We see a female shadow digging Russell from his cement grave, his skin completely raw from his time in the sun when Bill and Eric captured him last season. Sookie also sees in Doug’s mind that the woman is wearing some kind of bat pendant, like the female Vampire Authorities wear. Hmmm…then Doug’s mind leads them to an abandoned asylum. More on this Scooby gang later.
Tara is looking pretty hot as she enters Fangtasia wearing clothes borrowed from her maker, Pam. Pam commands her not to feed on the customers in public and forces her to work behind the bar. Nothing’s really changed for Tara, except for the fact that she’s a hot ass vampire, she still hates authority and can do nothing about it. Jessica shows up, and can sympathize with Tara’s situation. How cute, baby vamp BFFs!
Tara takes a smoke break in the alley and runs into Hoyt, Jessica’s ex. Nice guy liner Hoyt! And a popped collar! If your mama could see you now, she’d pull you home by the ear and lock you in the basement! Tara and Hoyt eventually make it to Fangtasia’s bathroom so Tara can feed. Jess is in the next stall and hears Hoyt moan, she throws open the door, and we have our first cat fight of the season. Tara vs. Jessica! Meow!
Meanwhile Sam called in Bon Temps finest, Andy and Jason, to investigate the shooting death of two of his shifter friends. Jason finds a wooden bullet and Sam explains to Andy that any kind of bullet could kill a shifter, but wooden bullets were meant for vamps. They let Sam go and he heads over to Luna’s to give her the bad news. I’m getting a little suspicious about Luna, but she seems upset with the news. Sam promises to check on her tomorrow and walks out the door and BANG! Gets shot in the side. Luna runs out and is shot twice by a pick up truck full of men in masks. Luna’s daughter Emma runs to her mom and Sam tells her to run, luckily she turns into a wolf pup and runs into the woods. They better not kill Sam off! I will be uber pissed!
Now for my least fave story line this year. Terry and Patrick, the war buddies, are being held by another war bud who they think is killing off the rest of their troop one by one by setting fires. He explains that when they were at war and killed several civilians while hopped up on drugs, one of the women cursed them with an Ifrit, a fire demon. Terry has a flashback and sees the Ifrit and asks his friend to untie them. He does so, and as I expected, Patrick sucker punches him and ties him to a chair. Terry runs out when Patrick asks him to help secure him. As soon as Patrick comes out of the bunker we see that their friend is right, an Ifrit seeps down the walls full of black smoke and fiery patches and kills him. I think we dealt with curses enough last year, but we’ll see where this takes us.
As the Ifrit is fuming, we see Lafayette asleep on his couch when he is awoken by a wacky noise. He looks to see his dead boyfriend Jesus’ head on the coffee table. Now if that doesn’t wake you up, I don’t know what will. Jesus is desperately trying to tell him something, but his mouth is sewn shut. Meanwhile Tara’s mother awakes to see Jesus also. She seems to understands the mumbling and says she will tell Lafayette. Jesus looks quite relieved and shuts his eyes. Who is keeping Jesus from speaking? Could it be old witchypoo Marnie from last season? Is it something to do with the Ifrit, we’ll have to wait and see.
Back to the Scooby gang! Doug, the Shaggy of our group, freaks as they are turning the corner in the asylum and getting closer to Russell’s hiding spot. He runs right into a room where live humans are chained to the ceiling and in strait jackets, waiting to be Russell’s dinner. They leave Dougie with the human buffet and find Russell laying on a gurney. He looks much better, skin grown back and everything. I got nervous as Sookie and co. got closer to him. I think he’s faking how sick he is. He was very pleased to see Sook though, that fairy blood must be looking very good right now.
As the final moments unraveled we hear Guardian Roman of the V.A. giving a speech, saying, “There are traitors among us.” Not just in the Vampire Authority, we see a slow motion fight between Tara and Jess and Luna (pic left) saying a Sanguinista prayer in her cell. Things are really going to heat up next week! We’re going to be at the half way mark for this season. Wah!
LAST LINES OF THE NIGHT:
Eric: “We’re here to finish what we started.”
Russell: “Give it your best shot!”
The end! Thanks for hanging in there! These reviews are going to be fairly long, so you have been warned. Hope you enjoyed it, and I’ll be back next week with Episode Six’s recap. TRUE BLOOD airs Sunday nights on HBO and you can catch up on the whole season so far On Demand.
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